i n s p i r a t i o n
Since my father had first taken me here, 15 years ago, the memory of this place slowly faded away, leaving just a strong image of it in my mind and the uncertainty that the place really existed. I have rediscovered the bizarre place a year ago. Since then, each of my visits here were truly fascinating, the house present in this album awaiting me with something new every time. New things, old things, drafts of a love letter.
All was lost.
All is lost.
So much more snow than sunbeams these days.
What once was?
What once was.
Blacked out the sun’s last refrain,
Endless cycle ended.
(A forest of stars – Microcosm;
Altar of Plagues – Through The Collapse: Watchers Restrained)
It was November last year, when Doru asked me to come up with a new story to be exhibited for the first time at Dark Bombastic Evening. I was extremely happy with his proposition, knowing that the people that follow my work enjoy this kind of events and will be present and also, because I fell in love with the festival since I first went there, in 2013, at the 5th edition.
This was followed by a few months of struggling to come up with an idea. After Melancholia, I was kinda over taking depressing, melancholic, really personal pictures, despite the fact that Doru kept telling me that he’d prefer to see something like that. The pressure was real and I think I started two projects that I soon dropped, because I wasn’t content with the fact that they were’n homogeneous. And then there was this guy, Pavel (also visit the page of this talented young bastard), who handcrafts leather masks and kept bugging me to go out and take some photos for his portfolio. First I put him on hold, telling him that I have a lot of thinking to do with my projects, but then, on a cloudy day I took a break and went out with him for some pictures.
And this is how it all started. Taking a closer look at all the pictures back home, I realized that I can bring something really interesting in form of a project out of this. We started to search for places to shoot, went out on 40 degrees celsius, tortured people with masks that you can’t breathe in (Pavel fixed that eventually), dressed them in black robes etc. La creme de la creme was definitely the almost-spontaneous trip to Buzludzha, the impressive communist monument that you can see in the last three pictures from the series. Not gonna bore you with that, it was awesome anyway.
In the end, despite the fact that I didn’t deliver something really personal, I’m pretty content with the result of three months of almost hard work, travel, edit, heat, pressure, sometimes crying, sometimes wanting to quit. Truth is, I had some really rough times a few months ago and I’m still struggling with some reminiscences and I almost wanted to give up on any kind of project. But in the end, I really believe that constantly pushing myself into doing this was part of the healing process.
Why Ausserwelt? Ausserwelt is a story about the end of human era, about the new “plague” taking over the earth and the rebirth of a new dark and bizarre world. My really tight connection to music inspired me to use the name of one of my all time favorite albums, which belongs to Year of No Light, which I also got to see live at DBE (fantastic show). Listen to the album and you’ll understand. The lyrics I used as backing story, belong to Altar of Plagues, another of my all time favorite bands. The music that inspired me in the creation process was mostly Lamia Vox and Terra Tenebrosa.
Thanks for reading and also here’s the whole series on Facebook.